It's Here

So I've been trying to figure out what to post for my "last post before the big weekend" post. I had decided not to do one because I'm not thinking clearly and wanted it to be meaningful. Then Aimee said something to me that made me really think and I woke up to an article written by Victoria Strong, and I realized what I would like to write about.
As part of my fundraising I've spent the past several months describing how this disease works. Telling everyone about all of the things these kids can NOT do because of SMA. Truth is that these kids, and their parents, are told every day what they can't, and won't and shouldn't do; then these amazing children, along with their courageous and supportive parents, go out and they DO. Their parents become innovators, inventors, and activists. They make friends with their physical therapist, neurologist & pediatrician and as a team they make things happen.  These kids DO. Some live past 6 months, some go to Kindergarten, or ballet classes, and they run distances that most adults  "can't". They teach. They are inspirations for those of us who say we can't to get up and do. Their bodies fail them daily but they don't write a blog post to complain about it, they find a way to work around it. They don't ask for pity, they ask for support. When they reach the finish line of their life, no matter what the distance they traveled, they have given it their all. They run the perfect race, finishing with nothing left in the tank because they leave it all on the course.  I hope if I happen to meet "the wall" tomorrow (it's more likely than not) that I can remember the lessons I've learned from observing these amazing people this year and push through it, keep running because I'm blessed to have a body that can run.
For tonight, we're in Richmond, exhausted from the crazy trip, pancakes in belly, wrestling a teething 1 year old  & hoping we can figure out a way to get to the start line through all of the closed, most direct roads! Prayers appreciated ;)

Forced Taper

This morning I had plans to run somewhere between 16 and 20, depending on how I was feeling, and despite being advised strongly not to. My training plan called for 12, but last week had gone so well...
After some hard core jumping in the leaves last night my right leg had started to bother me so I decided it would be better to hang out near 16. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I had to cut out at 13 because I was having so much pain in my right shin, a weird burning in my ankle and some other odd thing in my left foot. I figure it's better to gut it out in two weeks in Richmond, walk if I have to and finish than it is to gut it out now when I don't technically have to and not be able to run any of the race. Goes to show you should listen to those who are more experienced than you.

I also have seen so very many posts recently about children with SMA passing away. My heart aches for their families and my passion is ignited to continue to try to raise funds and awareness of this terrible disease. Remember, the fundraising page is here. The donation is tax deductible and for such an amazing cause. Really, this race isn't about me, or my time, or my medal. It's about why I'm running and I'm grateful that the good Lord reminds me of this frequently.

Three Weeks

That's it. Just three weeks until race day. Tomorrow morning I am going to get up, get dressed, eat a bowl of cereal, and run (hopefully the whole) eighteen point six miles, 30k.  18.6 I'm excited and hopeful that it will go well, that my achilles will be quiet and let me do the work. Is it terrible that I'm already thinking about what I'm going to eat afterward as a reward? The original plan (I know, it's laughable at this point) was that by the time I got to my last few long runs that Aarik would be able to come and run at least the last few miles with me. As seems to be the new plan, the original plan didn't work out. Aarik will be watching the kids so that I can run and as of right now it looks like I'll have a good friend, and running buddy, come along for maybe 5 miles of it. I'm more nervous that stopping at this mileage will be a guarantee that I walk several miles on race day. I guess I just need to be ok with that. Right now I'm trying to decide if I should go sign up for the 10k that is a half mile away and run the course three times, or run loops in the neighborhood so that I can stash an extra water bottle for my hydration belt, or go run in an area I've never run before that has gorgeous trees and nice open roads, but then I'd have to find my way around for eighteen miles which could pose a problem. Praying whichever one happens works out.

Trying to Catch Up

I need to. I need to try to catch up on blogging AND training. The month of September was so completely overwhelming that I chose not to blog about it and share all of the negativity I felt during that month. Suffice it to say we had way too much going on and I was also dealing with an injury. Between life and limb (the right leg to be exact) I missed three crucial weeks of running. Like, completely missed them. No running at all. For three weeks. When I started back just a couple of weeks ago I wasn't sure if I'd be able to run on my bum leg to catch up, or be able to make up the mileage since it would require finding my way back to the 13 I'd built up to AND adding on enough mileage to get in a few decent long runs before taper and race. My first week back I subbed for two classes at the Y, and since I taught four days of cycle in a row I couldn't get in any mid week runs. Frustrated, I went out for my long run that weekend not knowing if I'd run two or ten. Luckily, it went great and I ran nine with no problems. I stopped at nine to make sure it wasn't overkill leading to re injury after my time off. I was thrilled and renewed. I came up with a make shift training plan for the last few weeks to build up to what I feel will be an ok mileage and was looking forward to twelve the next week. The twelve went horribly. After only five miles my injured leg was screaming at me, and whatever bug my family had been passing around was nagging at me, so I decided to try the walk run method so many of the ladies in my FB Women's Marathoner group recommended. So I ran 20 minutes, walked 5, ran 15, walked 5... It was brutal, but I finished having run more than I walked. I felt defeated, and beat up and frustrated that so many things have gone wrong with this training period.  I decided to try my hardest to stay positive, any finish at any time was better than not doing this at all. I've always said I just wanted to finish. Run or walk, it's still 26.2 miles. I did a lot of praying and reminding myself that my husband has been very supportive and helpful. He totally thinks I can do this (insert nervous laughter here). So many people have contributed to the fundraising end of this deal. I thought about Callie, and her family. Again and again GSF's  "Never Give Up" on my wrist, my jeep, my t-shirt, running jersey, water bottle. After a few days I wasn't as sore, we had another busy week with no time for mid week mileage, sigh, and Friday morning I went out for my first ever fifteen mile run, worried that this type of crazy, thrown together training plan would back fire. While I was aware of my Achilles, it never went into full on pain. My knee did something weird the first mile, but eventually settled in. I spent most of the run praying in gratitude for each mile completed and asking for a few more. At mile eleven I had kept an easy, even pace the entire time and was feeling strong. At mile twelve I decided to take a quick walk break to check for pain, and was surprised that the worst pain I had was when I started running again. My pace did slow after the walk break, but I still managed to finish my 15 in just over two and a half hours. Not the pace I had envisioned a few months back, but one I'm happy with now. One i hope to be able to muster for as long as possible on November 10th. When hobbling home I had a few thoughts: a. It sucks not getting a medal for this. b. ouch and c. I hope I can add 11.2 more miles to this :-! My last long training run (18 unless i can magically bust out a 20) is this next weekend, then two weeks of taper and the race. I'm crazy nervous and terrified by the idea of being forced to walk 8-10 miles after running 16-18. Just starting to realize what I'm supposed to be doing in 26 days. I probably won't find much time to blog between now and then, but hope to at least once. I would appreciate any prayers on my behalf, or good running vibes sent out. Or donations! ;) this post is already super long & wordy so, I'll TRY to update after next week's run.

Tomorrow (and a few other days)

Tomorrow I will run 14 miles. That is the farthest I've ever run, and it's been almost two years since I've run that far. If it weren't for my mean right shin I would be so excited to have finally made it to this point. Well, I'm excited either way because,with all of the injuries so far, I never thought I'd get to this point. Last weekend I went out to run 12 and in my attempt to not be a hood runner (** see note) I added too many extra roads in and wound up running 13. While this shin has me running MUCH slower than I would like, the pace was such that I could have kept going a while longer and been fine. I also had to cut out one of my short runs this week in hopes it would help my leg, or help it not get worse. So I'm accepting that this time around with training I'm very injury prone, which means the best case scenario for November 10th is that I'll be in Richmond and toe the line very undertrained because of the time  I'll probably continue to take off to nurse these things. It's so frustrating to be physically capable, in every way but one, of doing something you want terribly to do. It really makes me think about what it would be like to have SMA and be fully mentally functioning and know how to do things, but not be able to do them. Which then makes me grateful to just have injuries from doing too much, or doing something wrong. I'm just hoping to go up there and run, walk, crawl or roll 26.2 miles in less than seven hours. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Things are starting to come together for our rummage sale, "Cookies for Callie", that's one week from today. This is going to be one heck of a crazy week. All of the last minute preparations for what looks to be a huge event, Aarik is switching to second shift Monday, I'm required to start going to the Y two mornings a week for training until my classes start the first week of September, adjusting to putting the kids to bed by myslef when it's really been a two person job so far,  it's supposed to be a 30 mile week (4, 7, 4 and my first ever 15), getting ready to have some major work done on our house, then add in the normal cooking, cleaning and preventing disasters, and the rummage sale itself. A week full of great things that, combined, are a little overwhelming. But, come Saturday night we'll hopefully be in rest/celebration/happy mode. If there aren't any updates until then, I'm sure I'll be excited to update after Cookies for Callie.

If you're wondering, we DO still have our three kids. They still do funny, busy things every day, and they are still wonderful. Right now it's just easier to shoot a picture onto Facebook or Instagram to update family about how Parker, who is barely one year old, is climbing EVERYTHING in sight. Like things that adults and monkeys can't climb. Or to quickly type a status update about how my 6 year old Konnor figured out how to crack the family lock code on Netflix. I can let everyone know at the same time that if they see us out in public Mckenzie picked out what she's wearing, bless her sweet heart. It certainly was not my idea. But, to hold you over until we start school the first week in September and Mckenzie starts soccer, and Konnor starts swim lessons and Parker starts... whatever craziness he starts next, here are a few random pics from lately.

**This is my own made up term for running only in neighborhoods. Every other time I have trained for a race I have been a hood runner. This time I am slowly venturing farther out with each run and am determined not to be a hood runner. The most I stay in the neighborhood anymore is about 2.4 miles, then it is out on main roads to stretch my legs and avoid most dog traffic... MOST. You can expect to see this term used in the future on this blog.

Look Y'all,

If I come and frantically ring your doorbell at 7 am on a Sunday morning and tell you that your dogs just attacked me and are running loose in the neighborhood and the only reason I didn't get bit was because I screamed until your neighbor came out and then I kicked your dog, DO NOT ask me which ones. Does it look like I know or care?! Put out your cigarette, get your keys and go catch the effers before I run into them again! People who can not keep up with or control their animals should not have the privilege of owning them.

On another note, I'm so loving the Olympics right now. Best time ever to watch these people (especially the runners) live their dreams and accomplish their goals. What a lucky girl I am to have this kind of inspiration at this point in life.  It's interesting to watch the different attitudes, too. Some are just grateful to be there at all and so humble and others pouting because they took silver instead of gold. Makes me want to be the kind of person who is just grateful to even be training for a marathon. If I can just make it through training and show up on race day and finish. Even if I have to walk some of it and don't even come close to my goal finish time. Just be proud of myself for doing it. Why is that so hard sometimes? I can't think of a single time that I finished a race and felt completely satisfied. It wasn't a long enough distance or a fast enough time. I hope by November 10th I will have found the secret to being proud of the accomplishment and the effort. K gotta go, the 100 meter finals are on!

I Almost Died This Morning

Well, it felt that way. After being up all night with loud neighbors, then a teething baby and then my own frustration, my alarm went off at 5am. It was completely dark out so I rolled over until it went off again at 5:30. Repeat. At 6 I finally decided to get up, since I should have been running by then anyway. When I left the house for my eleven mile run it was 74 degrees and 100% humidity. 100% humidity. The first several miles I thought I might drown. Half of the run there was drizzle, but not the refreshing kind. The kind that happens when there is so much humidity in the air it has no where else to go but drizzle form. At the 10k point it felt like the humidity had dropped some and then by nine miles it felt worse again. Home now and it's 72 and 98% humidity. But... I DID finish. I've been training without music since I'm running on a lot of main roads and so I had lots of time to think. Today the post I wrote for Laura over at Mommy Run Fast went up. I'm so grateful to her for sharing some of her blog space/time and for her kindness. I'm also laughing at how I worded  "I had our third son" obviously that didn't come out like I thought it did. Wondering if I had mean to put "our third child, a son". Truthfully the past year has been such a blur of insanity that I'm glad that's the worst thing I did on there. I'm hoping to get a post up tonight (or maybe tomorrow...)about Parker's first birthday. For now I need to go get everyone ready for church- Happy Sunday!!

Be Careful What You Wish For & Lots of Thanks

So last week I posted about how cool it looked to barefoot run and that I'd like to try it some time. Technically, we've probably all done the bare foot thing, as kids. But for some reason, as adults, it becomes an odd thing to do. Well, we have had complete insanity in our house the past couple of weeks. Aarik is now working six days a week, and his new schedule has been quite the adjustment for all of us. We've also had tons of people in and out of our home, which means lots of cleaning for me, and my niece has been staying with us for a week now, which means more cleaning for me. :) With all that's going on I'm quite tired and kind of out of it, and finding the need to rearrange my training days- not a good combination. Friday night, after another insanely busy day, I pulled the treadmill down for the first time in months and was running around the house trying to hurry up and get dressed to do a "quick three miles". Somehow during what should have been a simple task, I slammed my last two toes on my left foot into the bottom of the toilet. After the temporary black out that comes from doing something stupid and painful, I gathered my emotions and called a friend who's husband graduated from med school recently and got his opinion over the phone. After deciding not to go to the ER on a Friday night, I tried to put my tennis shoes on and was writhing in agony. So I took off my shoes and ran 1.5 miles on the treadmill. Barefoot. My toe only bothered me when it would jut out to the side (shudddder) and I stopped at 1.5 miles because I've always heard you have to be careful to ease into barefooting. By the time I got in bed a few hours later my little toe was very swollen and all sorts of fun colors and it kept me up all night. I just didn't feel good about taking Ibuprofen while I'm still nursing. I spent several hours at PrimeCare the next day and was told that "while it was hard to know for sure because of all of the other issues (breaks) I've had" they are pretty sure it's not broken. Take a little time off for the swelling and bruising to go down, ice it, cross train and get back on the horse. So I did the time equivalent of eleven miles on the elliptical (not fun btw)  and will just repeat this last week's mileage, running, this week. SIGH. Aarik and I just keep shaking our heads in disbelief that one person's feet could be under attack constantly. It's really becoming frustrating not knowing from one day to the next if I'll even complete training for the marathon, much less show up to run it. Just trying to remember the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation's "Never Give Up" motto.

Last week we reached 50% of our fundraising goal!!! Thanks to all of you wonderful, caring people who have donated so far and to Victoria Strong who has been so supportive and helpful. Thank you for helping me reach a personal goal to be half way before the half way point.  This fundraising is SO important for many reasons, but the thing that keeps coming to my mind is that with this disease parents are told there is nothing they can do to fight it. By raising this money we are doing something! This is really the only way these families can fight back. By funding projects that give their children better quality of life and research that will one day find a cure we are doing something. I'm so grateful to all of you who have given that to Callie's family by donating in her name. You're all so wonderful & you can't know how much the support means to us all. I can only imagine how it feels to Josh, Aimee and Callie to see how many people love & support them in all they're doing as well. Thank you all again!

One last thing, Laura over at mommyrunfast.com, is a wonderful running and health food blogger. I've gotten some great advice from her blog and have been keeping up with her for a little while now. A while back she asked if I would be interested in doing a short guest post for a segment she does on Sunday's called Purposeful Running to talk a little bit about why I'm doing what I'm doing. She worked as a social worker before she became a SAHM, and being aware of what SMA is/was, wanted to help get the word out and help with the fight. Of course I jumped at the chance! She has a wonderful blog and lots of wonderful followers and this is one great way to spread awareness about Spinal Muscular Atrophy and our fundraising efforts for GSF. The post is supposed to be up this coming Sunday, July 22nd, for any of you who are interested. In the mean time, if any of you are runner's or looking to be more healthy with your eating, go check out her blog! BIG thank you to Laura!!

The Forced Step Back Week

So last week Aarik worked almost 60 hours. I ran in the 98 degree weather and with insane humidity for my mid week runs- a 3, a 5 and a 3. We have had lots going on with our house, and our car, and our kids. Not all bad stuff, just lots of stuff. Then on Thursday Aarik informed me he would be working Saturday morning from 6-12. Maybe all Saturdays from now on. Saturday mornings when I'm supposed to be doing my most important run of the week. Saturday mornings when most people want to sleep in and not get up and come to my house with my three kids at 5:30 am so I can get out the door to run. I REALLY, REALLY do not want to run on Sundays. I've done it before in a pinch, but I don't like the idea of making it a planned permanent thing, so I tried to get help. To no avail.  According to Hal Higdon it was supposed to be a step back week anyway. Bu according to my body in the past, step back weeks are a no no. Normally if I step back I pretty much have to start from scratch next long run. So I planned on running at least 11 instead of the 6 he said to run. Well, Saturday afternoon one of my very first and very favorite running buddies sent me a text to ask if I was up to running that night, so I jumped at the idea. If I could at least run the six my training plan suggested, but shoot for the eleven I wanted I would be good to go. Well, let me just tell you that a long run in the South, in the Summer, in the evening, after a crazy humid and very hot day may actually kill you. I wound up running and walking my six miles. It. Was. Miserable. Never again.

Tonight when I went out for my short three mile run I was surprised how strong my legs felt and how easy the running came. So smooth and natural, the way you're supposed to run after a step back week. Fingers crossed that my eleven this weekend will be as great! And, as a side note, I saw my first REAL bare footer tonight. No Vibrams, no moccasins, nothing. Just feet. Running in the same neighborhood as me. Completely bare foot. I felt the way walkers must feel when runners breeze past. I just watched him, feeling like I should be doing more. It was the first time I've ever thought of bare footing as an option. Pardon my French, but it just looked so bada$$. This is obviously not the time for me to experiment with it, and the lust for barefooting may pass as quickly as it came on, but for now I'm putting a pin in the idea. Considering I can't run in anything less cushioned than ASICS, I'm thinking I need to just let it go.

By the end of the month, if all goes according to plan I should be running thirteen miles. I had hopes to reach the half way point with fundraising by the time I reached the half way point in my mileage. Just a little personal goal that I think about when out running early on Saturday mornings. You have a lot of time to think when you run without music. It can be nice. Or weird. Depending on the day and what you had for dinner the night before, or how the heat plays mind tricks on you. If you know of any way to get the word out about  the fundraising page, the race and the reason PLEASE help! I am in awe of the support that has been given by my friends and family, thank you all! This is quite a journey and a lesson to experience.