Sunday, April 8, 2012

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired and Upcoming Race

I hope everyone had a great Easter holiday! We had a fairly rushed weekend. But I managed to get the kids to cooperate for (just) a few pics.

Wondering why I look so old and crappy in my picture? Parker has had an ear infection for over a month now and is on his third round of antibiotics. This is very new to us since none of our kids have ever had an ear infection, or antibiotics for anything.  Also, during the past month, everyone (except me) got RSV and then everyone (especially me) got a stomach virus. I haven't slept for more than a couple of broken hours a night for over a month now. Have been locked inside the house with vomit and crying and snot for a month now. Literally running on empty. The days are starting to run together and I constantly have that aching feeling in the pit of my stomach from lack of sleep. It's been a month since I hit the mileage I set out to hit for both the week and my long run on Saturday. It has been both frustrating and disheartening. I am so grateful for my children and for motherhood, but it is safe to say that this has been my least favorite, most unhappy, month as a mom thus far. Parker is constantly screaming and crying and only wants me. I can't get out the door, and when I do it is rushed or to go to the doctor. Most days it doesn't feel like it is is smart, or safe, to drive. This, too, shall pass (right?!?!?!).

Having shared all of that, my 10k is this weekend, here in Winston. So when I woke up yesterday and didn't want to run because I was too tired, I got dressed and went anyway. I cried the whole first mile. I actually hated running. HATED it. Thought about never doing it again. Working around sleeping schedules and nursing schedules and new work schedules and trying to run after being dehydrated from puking for two days, it was just terrible. But then, thankfully, I found an easy pace, noticed the wonderful weather and fresh, non infectious air, and the fact that I could actually exist as a person for a few miles and I ran 8 miles and could have kept going if I didn't have to be back in time for Aarik to leave at a certain time. It was a better "easy" pace than I used to run (by almost 30 seconds), but still slower than I've been running so it was enjoyable. Now, I have hope that I can actually run the 10k Saturday, slow though it may be. Normally the 10k is my favorite distance. It's actually the distance that made me realize that I love running. When we were trying so hard to get Parker here and instead kept experiencing miscarriages I went through a really hard time. During that time a friend called up and asked if I wanted to train for the Cooper River Bridge Run with her. I'm so grateful for that call and that experience. It was the first time I'd ever run an entire race and at a distance I didn't think I could achieve. I actually felt in control of my body and proud of myself. When a few weeks later I ran the Hospice 10k, and ran it 5 minutes faster on a harder course, I was hooked. While I doubt I'll run this 10k anywhere near as fast as last time, it will be nice to go and run a race at this distance again, and hopefully with a little sleep under my belt it will be an enjoyable experience.

If anyone out there has any tips for staying motivated when your motivation is being drained from you every waking minute, PLEASE feel free to share! I'll try to update after the race on Saturday morning, if not before then. Have a great week!


  1. I hate that you and your little man have been sick. You are an inspiration to go running when you feel like you are on the brink of death! I almost commented the other day on your facebook status that I wished I lived closer and could bring you dinner. But then I worried I would be that person that rows up to a drowning person and asks if they need help (from that conference talk). I am thinking about you though and wanted you to know that. Hang in there and keep repeating to yourself, "This too shall pass" Love you!

    1. Joni, I'm thinking I'm just crazy at this point, but I'm happy someone thinks I'm inspiring! Thank you so much for thinking of me. It's looking like we are on our way out of the woods (for now :)!!