Saturday, January 22, 2011

Counting our Blessings

Anyone who knows us probably knows that we have had a rough couple of years in the "production" reproduction department. We have been blessed with two beautiful, smart, insane children and we have always felt there was one more. After several attempts ending in multiple miscarriages we decided to take some time off. Last year was a wonderful year for us. We decided that focusing on what we have is more important than focusing on what we think or feel we need. I got some time to clear my head and heal my heart and really think about things. We have learned so much from this experience, but for me one of the most important things was that a righteous desire can become unrighteous when it becomes more important to you than your relationship with God. While I didn't stop believing in him (or anything even close) I didn't trust him like I used to or talk to him like I used to and it made a huge difference in me, and therefore our family. That had to change. So I decided to work on it. Last year I started running as a distraction and found something I would have never otherwise found. I LOVE running. LOVE. IT. It makes me so happy. I ran some fun races and went from being a 5k runner to a half marathoner. In August Aarik and I talked about possibly trying one last time after my half in October. by September I decided that I couldn't. We were in a healthy spot mentally and spiritually, Aarik had just started running with me, we had a whole year of kids who were potty trained and I didn't think I could sacrifice my runners body :) Not to mention it really is no fun to be sick and pregnant and gaining weight for 3 months and then go through a miscarriage. It came up again briefly after the race, and again was quickly dismissed.

Well, the point is that we are now just shy of 13 weeks. We've been to two doctors appointments and everything is looking good. We keep asking what our chances are at this point of another miscarriage. Our doc keeps telling us "It doesn't get better than this." We thought we would share with everyone after the first appointment. No, the second one. OK, at 12 weeks. Thing is, a public announcement of pregnancy could lead to the need for a public announcement of loss. But ignoring it means you can't be excited and grasp the reality of the blessing. Also, after several pregnancies and this being the third one making it out of the first trimester I'm not sure how much longer we can hide it, so here it is. This was our second ultrasound, the baby measuring at 11 weeks and 3 days.
We are SO excited and surprised and feel incredibly blessed. We know that our Father in Heaven will work out whatever the right thing is for our family and hope to have completed our brood by the first of August. Thanks for letting us share our blessing with you!


  1. Jessica that is wonderful! Your post was eloquently written. I loved your words. You will be in our prayers. Let me know if you need anything. I can come and sit with your kids so you can nap...or when it warms up and you need some time I can take everyone to the park...


  3. I am super excited and so happy for you guys!

  4. Congratulations! Hope everything continues to go well!